"I *am* smiling. Take the damn picture."


"If mechanoids could barf, I'd be onto my fifth bag by now!" --Kryten, Red Dwarf, "The Inquisitor"

That whole scene around 05-15 to 05-18 is probably already longer than it needs to be, so I shuffled this bit into a bonus scene. It's silly and stupid, especially since Rusty could've just taken his audio sensors off again.

2020.10.14 The original version of this page lifted some monologue -- with full credit given -- from an old George Carlin bit, from the track "Class Clown" from the album of the same name. I was lazy and felt I couldn't write something that had the same sort of spirit as that bit without sounding like a rip-off of that bit, so I just copied it nearly verbatim and passed it off as some half-assed tribute.

I regret that now, especially since this re-write worked out so well. A few minutes of research got some creativity flowing, and I wish I'd done this sooner.

Anyway, I hope this wasn't a total waste of your time. I'm mostly proud of this, even if I did have to redo most of it. I am trying to get a script together for the next issue. I know what I want to have happen, it's just a matter of putting a list of events into an order that makes sense and can hold a reader's interest the entire way through.

See you again soon; stay safe. Wear a mask. I feel like Optimus Prime when I wear mine.


Copyright © Michael Hoke
All Rights Reserved.

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